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Is it Okay to Wear a Promise Ring Before an Engagement?

By:  Myra S.

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A promise ring is a dainty piece of jewelry, plain or embellished with stones. It is given to someone special as a token of commitment. For lovers, it acts as a precursor to an engagement ring. However, with promise rings comes along a myth and that is – are promise rings bad luck for soon-to-be engaged couples? Let’s dig deeper…

Many may call this the old wives’ tale, but some still believe that wearing promise rings before engagement can actually be detrimental to the relationship. This myth mainly revolves around the fact that wearing a promise ring on the ring finger of your left hand will send out a notion that you are already taken. In the olden days, people thought it was bad manners to ask a woman if they were single or taken. So, the best way a man could find out was by checking if the woman was wearing an engagement ring. The bad luck was factored in when people started presuming a woman’s taken if she happened to wear a non-engagement ring on the left ring finger.

Wearing a promise ring on the ring finger of your left hand will send out a false message that you might already be engaged and hence miss out on the chance of being asked. So bad luck is a misnomer; it is actually just confusion.

Promise Ring vs Engagement Ring – They Are Not the Same!

While both rings symbolize commitment and love towards partners, they are not the same. Engagement rings come with a definite marriage in the near future, with no exceptions. But the promise ring has no such compulsory connotations.

You have to consider the stage your relationship is in and choose the ring accordingly. In the Venn diagram of relationship rings, one circle being marriage and the other being lifelong commitment without marriage, promise rings fall in the middle.

There is yet another type of ring given in a relationship and that is a commitment ring. A promise ring is perfect for you if you want to marry your partner someday but aren’t old enough, financially secure enough, or are in a long-distance relationship. And if you want to spend the rest of your life with your lover but marriage isn’t something you want, then a commitment ring is for you. They are even used synonymously at times.

Why Do Some People Think Promise Rings Are a Bad Idea?

To label something as good or bad, we must first understand what it actually is?

So, what is a promise ring? A promise ring is exchanged when you are past the infatuation phase and want to be exclusive. It can mean many things for different couples and their goals for the relationship. But it almost always signifies love and loyalty. Promise rings are sometimes used as pre-engagement rings. The couple intends to get married at some point in their life.

Promise rings are given during the early stages of a relationship, indicating that the couple will stay committed, romantic and loyal to each other. It is more like ‘couple rings’ worn by both partners. Promise rings are romantic in nature but do not necessarily symbolize romance alone. It may be a symbol of friendship and platonic feelings.

In many contexts, a promise ring can have different meanings for different people. Therefore, there is no clear-cut rule about what promise rings specifically symbolize. Usually, couples will communicate the unique meaning of the promise ring before or during the gifting.

  • Monogamy: Exclusivity is the most popular meaning of promise rings. It means you are serious about the relationship and see yourself with this person for the rest of your life.
  •  Unique Promises: Promise rings can be a symbol of a reminder of a special and unique promise between the couple. They can be a secret commitment known only by the two people who share the ring.
  • Friendship: Though it is not very common among friends to wear a promise ring, they are also shared as a beautiful symbol of friendship. Friends who share a really special bond with each other can choose to wear the promise ring.

Promise rings do not necessarily lock you into a commitment to marriage like an engagement ring. Whatever bad rep these rings get is because their meaning wasn’t communicated, which probably led to wrong communication about the status of the relationship. So, when you do give your partner a promise ring, make sure you vocalize the promise too.

Also Read: How Much Money Should You Spend on Gemstone Promise Rings?

When Should You Give a Promise Ring?

Promise rings are popular among student couples who go to different colleges. College sweethearts, people in long-distance relationships and young couples are the most frequent givers of promise rings. Promise rings assure couples will continue to stay committed to each other and love without boundaries.

So, when is the right time to give your partner a promise ring? Though not necessarily as responsible as an engagement ring, promise rings also represent commitment. Hence, it would help if you gave your partner a promise ring only when you are serious about your relationship. You should also ensure that your partner feels the same way about you and is ready to get into that commitment.

Gift a Promise Ring When You’re in Love but Cannot Marry Yet

Promise rings are best suited for couples who are sure of the fact that they have found the perfect person to spend the rest of their lives with. For example, a couple may be sure that they are emotionally ready to share their lives with each other but are not financially prepared yet. Explore promise ring ideas with meaning that is unique to your relationship with her and pick a ring that suits perfectly.

Gift a Promise Ring When You are in a Long-Distance Relationship

Long-distance relationships are hard. The distance can be detrimental to a relationship. The only anchor holding down this relation-SHIP is a promise to meet each other. When you are in love and have to go through a long-distance relationship, the best way to show that you truly love them is to exchange promise rings. It symbolizes the fact that you will stay loyal and connected and keep up the promise of staying together. You can’t always communicate your hopes and fears through Facetime, but with a physical reminder of your love, you can definitely ease the heartache.

Also Read: How to Wear Promise Rings After Engagement?

Can You Escape the Promise Ring’s Bad Luck?

Yes, because there isn’t any. The only way you can encounter lousy luck is if you are bad at communicating. There is promise ring etiquette that you can follow, so you do not send the wrong message. The designated promise ring finger is the ring finger of either hand. But as we discussed the confusion it can cause; we suggest it to be worn on the right hand. This way, the engagement ring can be worn in the future without moving the promise ring.

The myth that giving a promise ring can jinx your relationship is nothing but a tale of moving too fast. When you feel your relationship is ready for it, you will know. Are promise rings bad luck then? The answer lies within each of us whether a mere superstition can change our feelings for one another.

FAQ

Is It Bad Luck to Put a Ring on Your Wedding Finger?

Absolutely not! One can choose to wear a ring on the wedding finger if it’s their personal choice. The only thing to be cautious of is not sending the wrong message to the world that you are taken when you are actually single. As most people check for a ring on the finger to avoid asking awkward relationship questions, it is best to leave that finger alone. 

Should I wear promise rings before engagement?

There are no rigid rules about what rings you wear and when you wear them. It only depends on the relationship and trust that you share. If you take promise rings as a pre-engagement ring, it is the best way to show the love you have for each other. Hence, you can wear promise rings before engagement!

Why are promise rings bad?

Promise rings aren’t bad, but if the promise is broken, it can leave you feeling devastated. Promise rings are the first ring in a relationship. They are a token of affection and commitment between a couple. It is not a sign of firm commitment compared to an engagement ring and can be offered in the early stage of a relationship hoping they will eventually get engaged and married. It means exclusivity for some couples. 

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